The Birds and the Bees

birdsnbees

There’s a point in every parent’s life when the saying “The stork brought you” no longer works but your child isn’t old enough for the real deal. That’s where the birds and the bees come in. First of all, since when did birds and bees ever start mating? I get that bees “distribute the pollen” and that the birds lay eggs but did anyone stop to think what if you are one of those parents that have an extremely intelligent child. It’s impossible for birds and bees to procreate and when you have a child like mine…you learn just how hard it is to fool them.

When I got pregnant with Mr. Daredevil, Ms. Drama Queen was only two and a half. At first, she didn’t understand that mommy was going to have a baby or that the baby was inside my tummy. But then, my belly started to grow, and you could start seeing the baby move, and the age old question came about, “Mama, how baby inside your tummy?”

I was dumbfounded for a moment. Here was my 2 year old asking me about babies. It wasn’t a question that she was to young to know about it but more so as to how much she would understand. So I told her, “A stork brings babies to new mommies and daddies.”

“What’s a stork?” She asked. She stared at me with her big blue eyes and looked as confused as any two year old would.

“A big bird.”

“A bird put baby in your tummy?” She laughed and looked at me like I just said the most ridiculous thing in the world. “You liar, mommy.”

Nothing gets past my little girl. So I took a deep breath and gave her a rendition of the birds and the bees story in a way I thought she would understand. After I was done, she sat there with her eyebrows furrowed, and contemplating what I said. Then after a minute, she repeated herself. “You liar, mama.”

What was I to do? I couldn’t tell her the truth, she’s 2 and a half, but she wasn’t buying the birds and the bees story. Or the stork one. So I did what any parent does, I focused our conversation on to something else, which in our case was tutus. She had a wild fascination with tutus. It worked for a while. She pulled out one of her tutus, put it on, and we went on to play pretty, pretty princess. But it didn’t last long. As the day dragged on, she asked again, “Mommy, how is baby in your tummy?”

At this point, I wasn’t sure what to do. So I pretended to not hear her question and ask her about her tutu. The conversation was quickly dropped and I felt like I got away with it again. Until the next morning…once again she asked and I was at a loss. Ms. Drama Queen is nothing but relentless in her questions. This went on for the rest of my pregnancy. Each day, she’d ask several times about her baby brother and every time I pretended not to hear. At long last, Mr. Daredevil was born and I thought I was home free.

Then came the question, “How did brutha get out of your belly?”

“The stork brought him.” I replied casually and moved onto something else. For weeks, it went on like this. I kept thinking to myself, “I hope she has this kind of persistence when she’s older.”

Then one day…she had a catastrophic meltdown. She cried for hours, not believing anything we tried to tell her about her brother, the stork, or the birds and the bees. It was exhausting and draining. I mean what do I say to a child about babies? Eventually, I sat down and I told her in the best way I could. “When a mommy and daddy love each other, they have babies. The baby grows in mommy’s tummy and then a doctor helps the mommy have the baby.”

Simple enough right? Wrong, she still wasn’t satisfied. At this point, I started to think maybe she was just doing this because she wanted attention. She was jealous of her baby brother. I mean after all, she tried to feed him chips when he was 2 days old because he was crying. And lets not forget the skittles she gave him at 2 weeks old. I think she was trying to get rid of him or helping…I’m still not sure.

I sighed and held her in my arms. Her face wet tears and her eyes were red and swollen. I looked at her, smiled, and kissed her forehead. “I know you want to know about babies and one day when you’re big enough mommy will tell you all about them. But for now, let’s be happy we have baby brother in our family.”

She pondered this for a minute and then snuggled into my arms. Mr. Daredevil started to cry and she asked if she could help me with him. I nodded my head, helped her hold him, and my heart glowed as she sung to her baby brother. Since that day, she hasn’t asked about babies or where they come from. Now she just tells me that she wishes her brother could be back in my belly again because he “Drives her crazy.”

My children give me a run for my money but I wouldn’t trade them for the world. Do you have a good birds and the bees story you’d like to share? Comment below!

If I Say Yes by Brandy Jellum

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