Ahh, Valentine’s day.
The day where men rush to grab the last bouquet of roses.
The day Hallmark makes a killing off the cards they sell.
A day when men realize they want to spend the rest of their lives with the woman sitting across from them in the restaurant, and get down on one knee.
A day where no one wants to be alone.
Apparently, the only day you’re supposed to show how much you love a person.But for me, the day holds much more than that. Yes, I get the typical flowers- gerbera daisies to be exact- my husband knows what I like. Yes, we usually have dinner with just the two of us, but not on the one day everyone else is out. Instead, we’re at home, celebrating a birthday. And this year, will be the 6th year we’ve done this.
Every day, we tell Miss E that we love her. We show how we will do anything for her- and the rest of our children. But on this day, we pay extra love to her. Instead of the husband and I going off for a romantic date, we take her out. We pepper her with love, kisses, and chocolate. And that to me, is better than any other date I could possibly imagine.
I was thrilled when this little bundle of joy was born on this sacred day almost 6 years ago. The thought of having a baby born on the day of love was second best to being born on Christmas. But now, I am tired of it. Tired of all the hearts. Tired of all the pinks and the reds. Tired of all the V-Day themed gifts. And though, Miss E still enjoys it, (she is only a little thing), I’m ready for something different. And yet, when discussing her birthday, and the kinds of decorations she wants- she still goes with the hearts.I know as she gets older, she will tire of this too. Which brings up my irrational fear; what if she hates me when she’s older for giving birth to her on this day? It’s silly, I know. But it is something I think of quite often. As many women that are being proposed to, there are as many being dumped on the day of love. What if it happens to her? What if some jerk decides to break her heart on this day? Not only is it Valentine’s day, but it’s her birthday. Talk about a double whammy! For now, I tuck the worry away. There’s plenty of time before this might become a reality. And if I have it my way, it won’t ever happen because my little girl will never have a boyfriend. If she does, I just hope I’ve done enough to teach her how to chose the right guy, instead of the jerk. I have bigger fish to fry at the moment. Like the tears that fell when she realized her birthday fell on a Saturday this year. Which means she won’t have her special day at school like most kids do. But never fear, mommy is here, and I’ll be bringing cupcakes to class for their Valentine’s Day party the day before. Because after all, I’m the best mommy she has, despite being the only mom she has. <— her words exactly.
So I hold my breath. And try to be the best mommy I can be. My fears, my worries, about her future, will never be known to her. I put on a brave face, and hope in the years to come I’ve done more than enough. I hope she realizes just how special she is. I hope she knows that though her ‘special day’ falls on a national holiday, it doesn’t mean she wasn’t special enough to have her own day. A day where Miss E rules the world- or at least the household. I hope she doesn’t blame me, or hate me, for the day she was born. I hope it makes her LOVE Valentine’s Day more than anyone else I know. I hope she embraces it. I hope it’s her favorite day of all the days in the year- her birthday. A day of celebrating her. Nothing more, nothing less. Not a day people make such a fuss.
A day of her own. Miss E’s day. After all, there isn’t a sweeter girl I know that deserves to be extra special on the day of love. But then again, she’s special all the time.